Talent show- U.G.L.Y
by Sailor Gemini
Summary: There's a talent show that the senshi enter... what more could u ask for? Songfic, Zoisite bashing, and senshi singing.... yay! R&R peeps!


"Usagi! You know this is a plot of the nega-verse!" Ami-chan said, looking up from the flier that Usagi had just handed out at the latest study session.  
  
"All the more reason we should do it. We could transform when the youma attacks, and then sing a song or something after we defeat it, and it would be the perfect act! We could kick nega-butt, AND win first place! It would kick!" Usagi said happily, bouncing up and down.  
  
Rei looked up skeptically, and started to say something, but was cut off by Minako. "Hell yeah! Sounds like a plan girl! All in favor say I."  
  
Even though it was reluctant on some people's part *cough Rei cough*, everyone raised their hands and said, "I."  
  
"Tight!" Usagi said.  
  
"Now, what should we do?"  
  
"I have an idea," Makoto said, smiling michvevously. "It's a song that we'll all have to sing."  
  
At the talent show:  
  
"That last act was so lame," Usagi said, grabbing her brooch.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Come one, it's us!" Minako said gleefully, jumping toward the stage.  
  
The five girls walked out on stage, and stood in position. Ami pulled out her computer as the curtain started to rise. She did a couple of quick scans, and found where the youma was hiding. It was hiding behind the curtains.  
  
She nodded, and all the girls raised their hands with their henshin sticks, and crystal.  
  
"Ready girls?" Usagi cried merrily into the mike attached to her head.  
  
"Moon Prism Power!!"  
  
"Mercury Star Power!"  
  
"Mars Star Power!"  
  
"Jupiter Star Power!"  
  
"Venus Star Power!"  
  
All the girls did their transformations, and the crowd gasped, and applauded, some whispering, "Wow! That's cool!" "I wish I could transform like that!" "Man, wouldn't it be cool if they were the real senshi?"  
  
"Venus! Behind the curtain," Mercury yelled, pointing over to where the youma was.  
  
"Venus Love Me Chain!" She cried, bring the youma out in the open.  
  
"Fire Soul!" Mars said, charring the beast.  
  
"Tiara Magick!" Sailor Moon yelled, killing off the beast.  
  
Zoisite appeared. "You brats!"  
  
"Yeah? Zoisite? We have something to tell you," Jupiter said, pulling up a chair.  
  
"Yeah! How about you sit down for a sec, girl?"  
  
"Umm. No."  
  
"Fine, wel'l make you. Venus love me chain!" Venus tied her to the chair, where Zoisite sat their squirming.  
  
"Ready girls?" Sailor Moon asked again.  
  
"Yes!" They all cried, standing in circle around Zoicite.  
  
Mars raised her hands into a shrugging motion. "Hey, I'm a cheer leader now!"  
  
Venus took over singing, "U-g-l-y you aint got no aliby. You Ugly, hey hey, You Ugly!" Four times.  
  
Sailor Moon just looked up at Zoisite, and started to smile. Then she sang, "I saw you walking down the street just the other day  
  
I didn't see your damage from that far away  
  
I should have got a clue when the kids started screaming  
  
You walked up to me with your buck teeth a-gleaming  
  
You hair was all frizzy and your face was a mess  
  
I thought it was a sack but it's your favourite dress  
  
You hurt the trees feelings and the birds all flew  
  
I don't mean to insult you - Oh yes I do!"  
  
Then Mercury cut in with… " Your teeth are yellow they're covered in mould  
  
You're only fourteen you look a hundred years old  
  
When looks were handed out you were last in line  
  
You face looks like where the sun don't shine  
  
Did you fall off a building and land on your head  
  
Or did a truck run over your face instead  
  
There ain't no pill cos you ain't ill  
  
You ugly!"  
  
Zoisite's face looked shocked, and she slack-jawed, as all the Senshi sang the chorus twice: "  
  
U.G.L.Y  
  
You ain't got no alibi  
  
You ugly  
  
Hey! Hey! You ugly!"  
  
Then Jupiter looked up, and grinned evilly, "What you really need is to wear a mask  
  
And book that plastic surgeon fast, girl  
  
You're scary you're hairy I heard about you  
  
You're the main attraction at the city zoo  
  
You're so ugly with a belly full of flab  
  
When you wear a yellow coat people shout out cab! (So funny)  
  
You got eyes like a pig and your nose is big  
  
And with hari like that you should be wearing a wig  
  
Uncle Fester remember him  
  
I never knew that you had a twin  
  
You can't disguise your googly eyes  
  
In the Miss Ugly pageant you win first prize  
  
Your mama says you ugly, you ugly!" She yelled into the microphone.  
  
Then Mars jumped in naming all these insults, and Venus cried Ugly, when ever it was said:  
  
"Quasimodo  
  
Camelbreath  
  
Squarehead  
  
Ugly~  
  
Chicken legs  
  
Pigface  
  
Chin like bubba  
  
Ugly!  
  
Fish lips  
  
Toad licker  
  
Poindexter  
  
Ugly!  
  
Spaghetti arms  
  
Limp butt  
  
Freakshow  
  
Ugly!"  
  
The rest of the Senshi just stood, and posed, each of them singing a chorus:  
  
"U.G.L.Y  
  
You ain't got no alibi  
  
You ugly  
  
Hey! Hey! You ugly  
  
U.G.L.Y you could make an onion cry  
  
U.G.L.Y like an alien chased by the F.B.I  
  
U.G.L,Y!  
  
You ain't got no alibi  
  
You ugly!"  
  
Then the Senshi stood there, doing cheerleading kicks, and flips.  
  
They all ran off stage, releasing a steaming mad Zoisite, to leave, and go back home.  
  
After they de-transformed, they all slapped fives. "That was SO priceless! I can't believe it! Perfect! Zoisite is going to kill us next time in battle. But hey, we did it!" Rei said.  
  
"Yo Peeps! They are about to announce the winners!"  
  
The five girls ran out, onto the stage, just to see 5 girls walking ahead of them, getting the award.  
  
"If you missed it, their names were Jasmine, Alex, Krista, Cara, and Kathy doing a remake of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen! Thanks for coming tonight!"  
  
The seven girls walked of stage laughing. "You know that kicked butt," Kenda said, slapping Kathy a high five.  
  
"Yeah! And can you believe those fake Senshi? I hope everyone knows that the Solar senshi are so out, and here comes the Constellation Senshi!" Jasmine said, holding up the victory sign on her hands.  
  
Alex leaned over to Kathy, and whispered, "I don't know what you gave her, but I want some."  
  
~end~  
  
whadya think? Review please!!!! Please? No? PLEEEEAAAASSEEE! Alright! I knew you would… eineiy weenie…. I don't own sailor moon or zoisite, who was a chick in this fic… don't ask…. Well, the other 5 girls are real people, and I don't own them either… well, I own Alex, cuz she's me…. But not the others… *sigh* God, I hate my life… I should just die… grrrr, your not supposed to aggree with me! You're supposed to try and stop me… god I hate stupid people…. 


End file.
